She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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