So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
