What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
