It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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