I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
