maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
