Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
