Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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