Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
