i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
