very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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