PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
