Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
