i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
