i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
