He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
