Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
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