biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
