Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
