I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
