So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
