just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
