with your own penis?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
