She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
