Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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