i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
