that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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