that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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