bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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