In the future we'll all be gay
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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