I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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