i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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