Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
