I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
