Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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