A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
