Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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