Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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