my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
