so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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