One girl and one boy is just not enough.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
