Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
