Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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