i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
