at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
