is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
