the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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