Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
