this beer tastes like vomit already
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
