To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
